(02/13/04)

Have you ever been somewhere and suddenly wished you had a pen on you so that you could take some notes? No? I didn't think so. But it has to be happening to SOMEBODY since Siemens AG decided to build a phone that also doubled as a pen:

(click on image for the full blown monstrosity)

I stumbled across this press release and was absolutely speechless. Oh by the way, Siemens owns the copyrights for these photographs and they can only be used for "editorial purposes." I think I'm in the clear here, because this is an editorial that nobody reads (but everyone SHOULD read).

The press release says that this new model "sets new standards in convenience and miniaturization." Really? It looks like it sets new standards alright, but I would have used the words "laziness and wasted engineering," instead. But that's just a matter of diction. Do I really need a cell phone that can store my writing and send it in SMS? SMS is overrated anyway, why don't you just take less effort and make the freaking phone call? On top of that, anyone who puts this monstrosity up to his ear in public risks looking like a moron. It would appear that this person is simply trying to shave the excess hairs from his earlobes. Actually I'll tell you what this thing looks like. I used to own a light pen with a book that would emit a different sound/light pattern depending on whether I placed it on the right answer in the book for trivia questions. It had two LEDs, one red and one green, and depending on what you put it on, it would either put out a dissonant sound and light up the red LED, put out a better sound and light up the green LED, or emit a flashing array of sound and light. I'm talking out of my ass. I can't remember the product, but if someone can, email me and I promise I'll paypal $10 to the first person who can tell me what I'm talking about.

Anyway. Where are the engineers who are trying to get me better battery life on my phone or better reception or faster data transfer? Couldn't a cell phone have used decent internet connection before getting handwriting recognition? I mean, it takes me forever to simply check the stupid weather forecast or the stock prices or the sports scores or the breaking news. Talk about waste of resources. I'm pissed off already.

I don't know why I ever wanted to be an engineer. Engineers are all idiots, and yet I somehow wasn't smart enough to get that degree.




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