(05/14/05)
I did it. I've finished college*. And I'm not sure about the whole college thing, though. I strongly suspect that this whole higher education thing is overrated. Still, I had a blast.
I think college has ruined my respect for older people. Seriously, has anyone had a 50 year old classmate who was remotely intelligent? They always ask the stupidest questions and then make the stupidest comments that absolutely derail any in-class discussion. I only hope I die before I become senile and/or retarded.
This April, I discovered that the philosophy building on campus was named "Waggener" and not "Wagner." This is the rough equivalent to finding out that you've been giving everyone the wrong area code to your phone number, 2 years after you bought the phone.
When I was an engineering student, I couldn't understand some of the professors because they were immigrants from Korea, India, or Eastern Europe. When I switched to philosophy, I couldn't understand some of the professors because they were just plain crazy.
I only hope that after I get my degree, I never again have to work as a delivery driver or cook in a restaurant, like the guys I worked with who had MBA's and BS's in mechanical engineering and computer science.
If I had started college 5 years prior, in 1996, I probably would have failed out. Google, Google Scholar (for those with UT EIDs), online registration, professor emails, and Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy all made it possible for me to procrastinate on studying, research papers, registering for classes, paying tuition, and turning in assignments while still passing my classes.
Things I've done to save money while in college: 1) Baked stale chips in the oven to make them crisp again. 2) Chosen not to fix the A/C in my black car during the Texas summer. 3) Chosen not to buy required textbooks because I felt that I could find the material online. 4) "Printed" blank pages with Microsoft Word from my quota so that I could bring printer paper home.
I wonder if I could have pulled off not renting an apartment for a year. Showers are available at the gyms and indoor pools. Computers are in the library. I could have lived on a diet consisting entirely of raw or microwaved foods. I could have slept on the couches in the public areas of the dorms. And I had enough friends with significant others who rented separate apartments but were, for all intents and purposes, roommates. If two people with beds share one, that would leave one for me somewhere, right? What would an economist say about all these unused beds?
My freshman year, I bought an engineering t-shirt that said "Get a Real Major." It was directed mainly at philosophy majors. I can't believe how cocky I was back then, thinking I was smarter than the rest of the University. I've since learned that the kid who gets B's in Classics is more respectable than the kid who fails Electronic Circuits I because he forgot to show up for lab three times.
If I could give advice and send it back in time, I would my 18-year-old self this:
You're not that smart. You will no longer be able to do no homework and not take notes and expect A's. You'll pull it off your freshman year, but then you'll realize during your sophomore year that you don't even know how to study or take notes, and your GPA will progressively drop and you will graduate with a 2.7.
You remember that military recruiter you brushed off because you were "too good for that"? You're going to wish you at least tried to get into West Point. 4 years from now, you'll be entering the U.S. Army as a specialist. Yeah, that's right, E-4. The pay charts will make you cry.
Get off the computer. Stop buying games for the Playstation or your PC.
The alcohol you drink is disgusting. I cringe when I see you drink Bud Light or Busch Light. Corona sucks. McCormick's is a terrible vodka. Put down that Evan Williams. I know it's cheap, but still. Drink better, and drink less.
Take interesting classes. Take classes in statistics, game theory, philosophy of science, and philosophy of mind. Some advanced logic classes are pretty cool too. Don't waste your time with all those survey classes. They suck, and so do those lazy-ass professors.
Don't buy too much worthless stuff. When you're graduating, you'll be wondering what the hell you'll be doing with it. DVD's are best rented, and books are best borrowed from the library. Don't pay money for furniture. Those kitchen small appliances you will buy are essentially gifts for your family back home upon graduation, because you won't be taking them anywhere.
Anyway, I'll miss you, Texas. I had an awesome time. I'll be taking my very marketable philosophy B.A. and carving out a spectacular career. woooooo.
*Yes, I still have to transfer my community college credits I got in high school and test out of the language requirement, but I'm basically done. And I guess I'm typing this instead of studying for my finals, which is pretty much the story of my academic career.
