(09/05/05)
In Man on Fire, Denzel Washington plays the alcoholic bodyguard of a young girl named Pita, undoubtedly so named because her pasty white complexion matches that of Mediterranean flatbread.
Does anyone else find it ironic that Splashtown USA, a waterpark in Houston, is giving free admission to victims of Hurricane Katrina? Haven't these people gotten their fill of water already? Splashtown USA sounds like an inappropriate nickname for New Orleans.
Kanye West has done what I had previously thought to be impossible - embarass Mike Myers to the point of speechlessness on live national television.
Pontius Pilate was the governor of Judea during the life of Jesus. Not much is known about his term, but I believe I have uncovered evidence that Pontius Pilate was quite an exercise instructor, and invented a series of exercises to be performed on mats which were later named Pilates in his honor.
9/11:Chandra Levy::Katrina:Cindy Sheehan.
If computer scientists ever took over the Army, all the acronyms would then become recursive, and military personnel, journalists, and analysts around the globe would plunge into a chaotic state of confusion.
Why the hell do we need 50 states anymore? Can't we combine a bunch of the smaller ones that are culturally similar? As far as I'm concerned, there's Texas, Florida, California, New York, New England, Appalachia, the South, the Middle, the Rockies, and Other Pacific States. I guess Alaska and Hawaii can be "those states in the boxes in the corner."
I sleep in a room with no blinds or curtains that faces the sun in the morning. Also, I don't know why I sleep with a down comforter in Houston in the summer. This has resulted in my breaking the record for most sweat lost in sleep in a single month (27.2 gallons).
When you have writer's block, sometimes all your stupid ideas can be thrown together into a collage of mediocre ideas. It's like that time you ate a bowl of powdery remnants from 3 different cereal boxes that were almost finished. Instead of Froot Loops and Smacks and Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a sugary, sludgy bowl whose flavor can only be described as "complex," you get a series of unrelated paragraphs trying to pass itself off as an entry on this fine web page.
I've really fallen off recently. When I start posting what I ate for lunch, I think it would time to quit this site.
