(05/25/05)
People annoy me by being retarded. Any of the following will enrage me:
- "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual."
- The ideal response to "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual" is "I'm not literate, but I'm educated." This girl (yes, it is always a girl) is basically saying, "I want to follow the Eastern religions because they sound cool but I don't want to have to follow any of their rules. I just wish astrology was a religion. By the way, I've never studied philosophy or religion, unless you count that time I looked up the word 'karma' at dictionary.com."
- People who are vocal in their ignorance
- This happens when someone shuns bread because it's so high carb and yet will still down massive bowls of fruit SPRINKLED WITH SUGAR. Meanwhile they'll get into an argument with you about it when you bring it up. It's the same problem afflicting the dumb bitch who was trying to tell me population growth was on its way up in the world, while conveniently ignoring every population projection put out by experts on the topic. I could go on forever about this - people who have never served giving me advice for my military career, dumb girls who can't cook who tell me what I should be doing in the kitchen, unemployed biology graduates making cracks about how I as a philosophy major will be working at Starbucks (mind you, this is after I took my job with the Army) when they can't even land an interview, etc. People just need to learn to shut the hell up instead of arguing about stuff that's outside of their expertise.
- Elitists who are not quite elite
- You see it all the time - the guy who sucks at basketball who just doesn't want to play with or against "crappy players." Or the girl who came over to my apartment with severe acne saying "I just don't think I could be friends with ugly people (by the way, she's the dumb population growth girl mentioned above). Or the unemployed guy whose rich parents give him everything calling the working poor "lazy and stupid." Oh, and before you write me an email, first realize that I already know that I fall under this category. Hypocrisy is unfairly vilified anyway.
- People who confuse luck with skill
- Perhaps you've met him before - that guy who sucks at driving, who REALLY thinks he's good because he's never been in a car accident. This phenomenon also appears quite frequently at the poker table, of course. However, it really pisses me off when people proceed to draw lessons from their lucky wins. Election 2000 was a coin toss; the winners don't deserve credit for winning, just holding their own. The entertainment industry is the worst - people who are just in the right place at the right time suddenly become rich and famous, and let it get to their heads.
- Enthusiasts who turn out to not know anything
- "I love beer. I really like going out and trying new beers. Last week alone I tried Guinness, Heineken, and Sam Adams for the first time. What's a lager, anyway?" I hate car enthusiasts who don't know how a piston engine works, self-proclaimed computer nerds who can't install an OS, basketball fans who couldn't name the starting 5 of their favorite team, and wine lovers who later turn out to be just plain alcoholics who only know the difference between red and white.
- Miscellaneous stupid people
- I don't even interact with strangers that often anymore and I still find myself surrounded by idiots. Oh well.
